Saturday 29 September 2007

Forgiveness


TO FORGIVE : Cease to resent , pardon . FORGIVENESS : act of forgiving , state of being forgiven . These are my diary 's description for forgiveness . All religions , therapists and philosophers will say that it is necessary to find forgiveness in order for one to leave the past behind and leave your life free of anger or bitterness that you have , due to people or circumstances harming you . Many people spend years in therapy searching for this elusive act that will free them from their pain . You've got to leave the past behind , you will be advised - just forgive and move on . But it doesn't seem to matter how many times you pardon the pain still festers . You try and forgive yourself and other people , but you cannot clear it from your psyche and your anger will occasionally break out hurting you and sometimes you love the most in your life.


It appears one of Life's cruel tricks that a victim has to find forgiveness to remove the pain of a certain event , whilst the perpetrator continues his or her life , showing no remorse whilst the victim is eaten up with bitterness and anger . This is often true in extreme cases like murder or rape and individuals can carry these scars to their graves. Actually , these painful events are huge opportunities to enter into your subconcious and discover the pain that already exists there . Any failure , loss or abandonment is a chance to deal with the underlying causes of the frustrations , anger , resentment and jealousy that we all deal with , because these emotions are not caused by the event but already exist within us and are only triggered by painful events . On the other hand , positive emotions tend to be caused when things happen that diminish the negative emotions .For example , if you get a pay rise at work , you think you are happy because you have more money , but it is really because your fear of poverty and your feelings of inadequacy are reduced .You may even feel that you are now better than your co-workers and a superior human being . But these feelings only last for a short time and you will soon return to your fear and feelings of inadequacy and will try different strategies eg chemical addiction , exercise or work to block these feelings .

What is the underlying cause of all this heartbreak and suffering in this world ? What don't we want to feel ? I believe that we are trying to escape from Life , because the greatest fear we have is the universes' love , which is within us and outside of ourselves . The anger you feel is really directed against this - when something ' bad ' happens you are saying that Life is not good enough and there should be something better . In fact that is all there is - the feeling you and I are running away from and hate more than anything else is Love. The world we see , full of war and hate comes from this - the world has projected this onto itself and this is what we get . God , the Universe - whatever your description for Life is , loves us completely and without reservation , whatever we have done.

The cause of this conflict is the belief in death and belief in the reality of the physical .This has led us to thinking we are gulity and that we are not loved or good enough . So , how can we deal with these erroneous thoughts - what can remove these blocks which stop us knowing ourselves fully . The key that will unturn the lock is Forgiveness . The real meaning of forgiveness is not that of pardon but is giving . This is not something we have to try and discover but is our natural state of being .

Our world's definition of giving is ' Give and Take ' , which is really just taking . How many times have you been angry because someone did not return a favour or appreciate something you did for them - this anger implies that deep in you , you were expecting something in return and were not giving but taking . To give is to love and love is the force that will remove the thoughts of guilt and death . This is the feeling that we feel 24 hours a day , 365 days a year and try and ignore the best we can . IT IS NOT GOING TO GO AWAY ! It is what we are . There is tremendous resistance within the human psyche and the way through this is to accept the feelings . Our so called negative emotions are signs that we are feeling this healing energy but not accepting it. Once you realise this , the only thing you can do is try and make a space within you for this force . Lie back and think of England if you like . It is not something to fear even though it may cause conflict inside of you , because underneath all the layers of negativity is you - the You that you know you are . Just accept and accept and accept again and one day we will return to our natural state . It has never gone away and never will.

Monday 24 September 2007

There is no such thing as Society

These were the famous words of Margaret Thatcher , that were much derided . The underlying message of her comments was severe , echoing Norman Tebbit's ' Get on your bike comments ' . It was an attack on benefit culture and a typical Tory attitude of the time demonising ' spongers ' and anybody else they did not approve of .
The interesting point about Mrs Thatcher's remarks is that she was correct . There is no such thing as society-look around you and try and find one . It is actually just a mental concept - my dictionary's description of society is an ' association of persons sharing a common interest or aim ' . In the way , we normally describe it , society does not exist . All that exists are people making different choices and actions . There is no society to blame or congratulate . All that there is , are different people doing whatever people do.
For fourteen years , I had the dubious pleasure of working for Barclays Bank ( actually it wasn't that bad until the bastards took over - lots of wine , women and song made up for the rather mundane nature of the job ) . One thing bugged me though . Who did I really work for ? What was Barclays Bank ? As with Society , the answer was that it was not real . Just because somebody writes down on a paper that something exists and gives it a name , that does not make it real . Literally , it is just words on a paper . Barclays Bank and other companies are just buildings and people working inside them . They are only real in our mind .
If Barclays Bank and Society do not really exist - what else is not real ? Basically , any organisation that you can think of . Schools , the Police , the Army . The list is endless , but the main beneficiary of our mental delusion is the Government . It is just a set of men and women , telling the rest of the population how to live their lives and if we do not agree with them the full force of the Law , will make us comply . ( The Law is another fictional institution . The crown , the courts and councils are only individuals ). Does one individual have the right to tell someone else where to park their cars , to pay taxes or taking it further imprison people or even execute them ? Now , I don't believe in anarchy and am only too aware of what can happen , when there is a vacuum in government , but this profound lack of freedom must be addressed , where a coterie decides for others how they are to conduct their lives . Especially when they do not even exist !
I hope this post has given you food for thought and will return soon with further insights from the recesses of my mind .

Thursday 20 September 2007

The Universal Soldier

These are the lyrics to an anti war song by Buffy Sainte Marie , which has recently been swimming around my mind. She is a wonderful Canadian Indian songwriter and these words seem very apt right now - one of the mysteries of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan has been that there has been no public support for them and yet still they went ahead . Maybe its time that we start calling the tune .

He's five feet two and he's six feet four
He fights with missiles and with spears
He's all of 31 and he's only 17
He's been a soldier for a thousand years

He's a Catholic , a Hindu , an atheist , a Jain
a Buddhist and Baptist and a Jew
and he knows he shouldn't kill
and he knows he always will
kill you for me my friend and me for you

And he's fighting for Canada
he's fighting for France
he's fighting for the USA
he's fighting for the Russians
and he's fighting for Japan
and he thinks we'll put an end to war this way

And he's fighting for Democracy
and fighting for the Reds
He says its for the peace of all
He's the one who must decide
who's to live and who's to die
and he never sees the writing on the walls

But without him how would Hitler have
condemned him at Dachau
Without him Caesar would have stood alone
He's the one who gives his body
as a weapon to a war
and without him all this killing can't go on

He's the Universal soldier and he
really is to blame
His orders come from far away no more
They come from him, and you and me
and brothers can't you see
this is not the way we put an end to war.

Wednesday 19 September 2007

Thou Shalt Not

''Thou shalt have no other gods before me.Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them:for I the lord thy God am a jealous God , visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me . And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me , and keep my commandments. ''



It has always puzzled me why , that for millennia , the vast majority of the population of the world has allowed a small number of people , mainly men , to pass laws and generally tell the masses how to behave and what to do with their lives . In my country , the United Kingdom there is approximately a population of 60 million people and yet basically about 600 men and women are in control of the law - even less , as most MP's vote how they are told . This happens all over the world from totalitarian regimes to so called democracies - a very small number tell 6 billion men and women what is right and what is wrong . How did this happen ?

The lines at the beginning of this blog come from the Ten Commandments given to Moses -as far as I can tell , this is the first time that ' God ' gave detailed instructions to the human race as to how to behave . What really bugs me is that Moses got away with it - if Gordon Brown climbed Ben Nevis and returned with a tablet of stone saying that income tax should be increased by 3% ,that everyone should undertake National Service and that God told him this ,he would rightly be greeted with derision . But Moses was believed and from this time the role of governments have taken on a quasi- spiritual flavour.

My theory is that subconciously , we give 'our leaders ' god like qualities and believe that their laws come from God himself. And as it says in the Ten Commandments he is a jealous god and will throw thunderbolts and punish us in all sorts of horrible ways if we disobey him . ( For any American readers , that is irony ). At first glance , George Bush's and Tony Blair's declarations that they prayed to God before launching the Iraq war seems laughable , but the answer seems to have been that the war was God's Will . Subconciously , this sort of public declaration is very powerful implying God supports the war and is on our side , even if our enemies also claim to have God's support.

It seems absurd to me to believe that God takes sides , and that he has a direct hot line to our leaders , telling them what to do and what is best for the rest for us .Do we have to do what our governments tell us-pay income tax , follow their laws , drop bombs on fellow human beings . By all means , agree with the government but don't do it out of fear of God . The individuals in government are no different to you or me . Do they have the right to tell anybody what to do ? Do we have to obey their laws and proclamations , if we dont want to ? This raises a further fundamental question - does anyone have the right to make decisions for others ?

I will leave this thought with you to ponder and will return in a few days with further musings .

Thursday 13 September 2007

2012



In the summer of 2012 ,the Olympic Games will be coming to London . Some are dreading this , whilst others are looking forward to it with anticipation . Personally , I love these type of large sporting events and I am hoping to attend some of these events. However , my real interest in 2012 and the Olympics is of an esoteric nature rather than just my sporting inclinations.


According to the ancient Mayan civilization 21/12/2012 is the date when the current astrological cycle comes to an end , having begun in 3114 BC and nothing is predicted after this time. Some have called this the ' Great Awakening ' and others have a more dire view , seeing it as the End of the World referred to in Revelations with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse striding across the scorched earth , destroying all sinners who are guilty in God's eyes and the pure ( mainly white American Christian fundamentalists ) will rise to heaven . Having been brought up during the 1960's when the Cold War was at its height and lived through the run up to the Millennium and various Jehovah Witnesses proclamations , I am immune to these types of predictions and 2012 was of no interest to me until the news that the Olympics were coming to London.


Apart from this date , what else would connect the London Olympics to the ancient Mayan prophecy . It was when I saw that the hub of the Olympics were going to be in Stratford that I began to think that maybe 2012 is of significance because Stratford is bang on the Meridian - this is the longitude line which crosses the earth vertically-which runs through Greenwich and gives the famous Greenwich Mean Time , from which all time on earth is linked to . All clock times are based on this and depending where you are in the world , the time is connected to Greenwich . It is interesting that both East Grinstead and Lewes in Sussex , which are also on the Meridian are both towns with rather spooky spiritual atmospheres. I can certainly verify this with East Grinstead having gone to school there for 5 years as well as working in the town for 1 year.


So what has this to do with anything ? If you have read my previous posts you may understand my views that our belief in death and body as real are falsehoods. ( I promise after this blog not to mention death for a long time ) . If you follow the theory through , this would mean that Time itself must also be unreal as without birth and death there can be no time . No beginning and no end . My other belief is that death , the ego or the devil ( whatever you like to call it , as it is the same thing ) has its own intelligence , which tries to lock us into this belief system and that Time and the Body are its greatest symbols . Is it possible that the London Olympics , with its emphasis on the glorification of the body and the siting on the Meridian -Greenwich is also being used for a large number of events at the dome -a further attempt to trap us .


What is going to happen in 2012 . I don't know is the honest answer , but it appears to me that it will be significant and London will be at the heart of it . So we'll just have to wait and see -Time Will Tell !

Monday 10 September 2007

Me and my Shadow

In my last blog I discussed the emergence of a force into the national and world psyche , which seem to have been precipitated by the return to power of the Labour party in 1997 . This force has changed behavioural patterns and intensified personal relationships throughout the world. What is it and how will it continue to affect us?.

The renowned psychologist CG Jung was the first to use the term '' the Shadow '' to describe the unconconcious emotions and energies which are repressed within ourselves and which we do not want to acknowledge ,out of fear or guilt and which are too painful too enter into , if we can avoid it .However , these energies will always try and find an outlet and can suddenly burst into life in both destructive and positive ways.

I am now going to quote Deepak Chopra - which I am loathe to do , as I find New Agers a bit too happy-clappy for my tastes , but he does seem to know what he is talking about in a lot of areas :

The Shadow is personal and universal at the same time.

Anything can be stored there.

Whatever is stored in darkness becomes distorted

The intensity of shadow energies is a way of getting noticed.

Bringing conciousness to any energy defuses it.

The shadow itself is not evil and therefore not your enemy.



It is my view that since 1997 these shadow energies have been forced out of our psyches . Have your interests changed -how often do you find yourself reading books or watching films that you would never normally be interested in and sometimes cause you to feel ashamed ? The rise in films showing ever more nasty and sadistic methods of slaughter are to me indicative of the Shadow . The political and media habit of referring to their enemies as 'terrorists' as well as the massive interest in conspiracy theories eg : 9/11 , the death of Princess Diana again point to shadowy figures who dwell in the darkness . The profileration of adult and child pornography on the internet ,also, comes from the same place.

Without going into great detail about the various layers of the Shadow - feelings of inadequacy , guilt , fear , as well as addictive behaviours are all symptoms of it - it seems to be common sense that there must be a basic reason for the shadow . My opinion is that the core centre of the Shadow is the fear of death , or rather the belief in death . The belief that we are going to be destroyed and that we cannot live without our bodies . Everything , the world is based on seems to come from this premise -our basic impulses come from the need for survival-food , sex , shelter etc and all our energies are put into it.

But what if this is wrong - what if the body and death are not true ? Is it possible that we are trapped in some sort of hallucinatory world ,which relies on these beliefs to sustain itself . Could it be that all the hate and anger are somehow misplaced - are we living a con ? I can only let you decide for yourself , but something is happening and the Shadow is at the heart of it . And Tony Blair of course.

Friday 7 September 2007

Tony Blair and the Grim Reaper


On the 1/5/1997 ,Tony Blair was elected as Prime Minister.It was also the first day of my new life as an ex-husband.A day of change both personally and nationally.I don't think anybody would contend that that the world has changed dramatically in many ways-we have had wars in Europe,Africa and are currently involved in Iraq and Afghanistan.The shock of 9/11 still reverberates around the world , and smaller terrorist activities like 7/7 and the Madrid bombings have kept the populations on permanent alarm.Big corporations have got even bigger and government institutions seem to be in permanent conflict with their public , doing whatever they deem fit without any consulatation.In the workplace , people are working longer and longer ,without any real benefit and social problems seem to be increasing.


But the biggest change that I have noticed is that the world seems to have gone completely mad-really bonkers.The first indication of this was Princess Diana's funeral and the run up to it.The false sentimentality was enscapulated in Elton John's rendition of Candle in the Wind , which then went on to become the biggest selling single of all time.Since then , whenever , any major event has occurred it is greeted with completely undue exultation or desperation-the Olympic games coming to London is a prime example-Londoners were in almost orgasmic delight and the defeated Parisians were in almost suicidal despair.The apocalyptic take on climate change is another indication of this refusal to keep things in perspective.


Everything , is either absolutely fantastic or completely terrible.Nobody is fat any more , they are obese.There are no more drinkers-they are either alcoholics or at the very least binge drinkers.Everybody is GUILTY-you work too much or not hard enough-we drink, smoke and eat too much . If you have a lot of sex you are a sex addict and if only a little , there must be something wrong with you.the cities and towns are not safe to go in on Friday and Saturday nights , unless you have had 10 pints of Stella Artois , and don't mind being shouted at and vomited upon . A group of more than four teenagers is to be seriously avoided .


We all know that something has changed , we can all feel it , but what has happened . Did Tony Blair's rise to power portend something major on both a national and worldwide scale? Is the world changing and why ? What has caused all this turbulence ? The answer is that something has emerged and at the bottom of it is our friend , the Grim Reaper himself , Death.In my next blog , I will expand on this and endeavour to explain what this means on a personal and worldwide level.


I'm now off to have those 10 pints of Stella !