Tuesday, 22 April 2008

Love and Hate

We have all fallen in love and we have all fallen out of love . Why do we do this-how can our feelings of intense love, within a short period of time, suddenly alter to hate ? What is the catalyst for this change . One minute we love someone and then the very next second we hate them .

Our ego has a very peculiar sense of Love . It is quite happy to love someone until the object of desire does something which it does not accept . This can be anything from something relatively minor such as not returning a telephone call to something more major , like adultery .The first action will probably result in feelings of frustration and the second in hate and can lead to a complete breakdown of a relationship, but both responses come from the same place . The ego only offers conditional love – it will only love as long as the conditions of the relationship are acceptable to it . As soon as these conditions are broken ,then its real feelings of hate begin to surface .

An example of the non- acceptance can be seen starkly in diseases like Anorexia . To sufferers of anorexia , their body has to conform to how they want it . Unfortunately , our bodies do not obey our rules . It gets fat , thin and goes bald – it ages , our bodies start to sag and our boobs are either too big or too small .Our non acceptance of this , leads to our hatred of the body . We want to control it , so that it meets our vision of beauty and we can love ourselves . But our body has its own agenda , which has nothing to do with body image , but our ego can not accept this and so Anorexia descends into a fight between the ego and its hatred of the body and the body itself , which needs food to function .

The second example of non acceptance I will use is adultery . Again , this comes down to control . We cannot bear the thought of our partner having sex with someone else . It is completely unacceptable to the ego and will normally bring up feelings of rage and hate . It is so normal in our society that in cases of murder , it can be called a ' crime of passion ' and the accused may receive a reduced sentence , compared to other forms of murder . But what we are really saying with non acceptance is that what someone has done is so bad that it is unforgiveable and that we will deny our love for that person . As I said before , our ego has a very peculiar sense of love . Love does not die , but to our ego it does .

Basically , non acceptance is hate and hate is non acceptance . Our society has created rules for what is right and what is wrong and it is these by which we judge each other . They are laws developed from hate and not surprisingly lead to hate , as the ego is Hate .But what it hates more than anything else is , to coin a phrase , unconditional love . Within us , live two emotions Love and Hate . One is real and the other is a figment of our imagination –it is our real selves that we are asked to accept , not the imposter .

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